No Longer Mine

In due time, I began to realize that by giving myself to Master I had relinquished the unfettered control over my own body. It is no longer mine. It is his. It now belongs to him for his use and enjoyment. Now it is he, and he alone, who determines what goes on it and what goes in it. At any given time, he determines how it will be used, and whether it will have pleasure or pain. He is its' undisputed owner.

As for me, I'm regarded as its' caretaker with the primary responsibility of making it available at the owner's will, available for what ever service is required. I have no say so in when, where, or how his body is used. However, the day to day care and maintenance of his body is left up to me. Along with ensuring availability, Master requires that I keep his body in a state of readiness and good working order. The details of how this is done is left up to me. In short, he expects his body always available, wet, and ready for service.

That's how it is and how it will be.

What Can I Say?

Often I wonder why I started this blog. Not being particularly fond of writing, and ,quite frankly, not having much to add about the dynamics of Master/slave interactions, I question my motivation for even thinking that I could offer anything to the general discussion about BDSM relationships. But, after giving it some thought, I remember who I am and why I wanted to start this blog. You see, I have noticed that most of the self described slaves and submissives that blog are much younger than myself and I wanted to "shout out" to those of us who are not so young, in fact most would say we are exceeding far from being young, and who are also new to the consenting submissive life.

Admittedly, I have had a long and lasting interest in all expressions of human sexuality, especially those involving domination, submission, pleasure and pain. From a very early age I fantasized about having all sorts of delicious experiences, but any moves towards actualizing my fantasies were successfully suppressed. The very practical side of me was determined not to let anything interfere with the life that I had carefully planned for myself. I wanted and got the home, the two children, and the long term marriage, including everything that such a marriage entails. During my marriage, I had worked towards and eventually had a career. I had no time to give into my secret yearnings. In my mind,I had made my life choices and that was that.

To be honest, I never dreamed that I would have a second chance, a second life if you will, to explore all manner of sexual expression, and to do and see various ways to get sexual release and satisfaction. In the last three years I have come a long way in experiencing what I only thought about for so many, many years, but I still have much yet to learn. I have a wonderful and caring Master who will hurt me, but not damage me, who will lead me, but not push me. I am indeed a fortunate slave and I have been around long enough to be grateful for this later opportunity to live life intensely, totally, and passionately. And yes,for a number of us over 60, passion is very much a necessary part of our lives.

Collared

After almost three years together, Saturday i was formally collared.
It satisfies Him. Therefore, it satisfies me. i love Him so.

slave freya

Makes You Go Hummmmm

"Socialite, 85, shocks New York with sex novel"
Paul Harris in New York The Observer, Sunday 12 April 2009

In a sign that you're never too old to try something new - or something racy - one of the grandes dames of New York society has penned an erotic novel at the age of 85.

Gloria Vanderbilt, whose family name is one of the most famed in Manhattan history, has written Obsession, the story of a woman who becomes entranced by her dead husband's affair with a dominatrix.

The sexually explicit book, which is to be published in June, has already sent shock waves through the reserved upper echelons of New York society after passages were leaked to a New York tabloid. The leaks showed that Vanderbilt's prose spares no one's blushes in its explicit descriptions of kinky sex. Andrea Peyser, a columnist at the New York Post who got hold of the 143-page tome, breathlessly called it 'pure, elegant, unadulterated smut' - before reassuring readers that the book was light enough to be 'easily read with one hand'."


It seems that for many seniors one can never be too old or too sedate to need some acknowlegement of their continued interest in sex. Yes, with years of experience, "oldsters" still think about it, write about it, and even live with it as a driving force. Go girl.

Shared Needs and Wants

What makes a health relationship between two, or more, persons who are committed to being with one another? From my way of thinking, all parties must be brutally honest about their individual needs and wants. Open communication is essential. Hidden agendas will kill meaningful conversation and destroy understanding.

HA means that you are either consciously or unconsciously lying to yourself about what you really need to be satisfied, or, in other words, to be content with the state and direction of your relationship. A person should figure out what's important and necessary and then communication in no uncertain terms this information to the significant other or others.

Also, given the fact that needs and wants can, and often do, change throughout the duration of committed relationships, altered thoughts and desires must be verbalized and and not be suppressed. In all likelihood, suppressed thoughts tend to fester and grow, and grow, in frustration until and unless brought to light.

i do believe that there is no right or wrong way for people to live and love, no magical condition necessary. Whatever works, some might say. However, it seems to me that a central prerequiste for a health relationship is a meeting of the minds. In short, are we on the same page?

Long Past Growing Older

Ah, the joys of being older and there are some. For instance, if you are a parent or parents of children, they, for the most part, are no longer in your house, and have established their own lives and abodes. And, more than likely, they are dealing with their own problems and concerns. And, if they too have children, of any age, then their children's trials and tribulations also consume much of their time. Guess what? That gives them precious little time to delve into your life and activities. That means, if you choose to keep your business to yourself, which is probably a very wise move, then they are more then happy to let you. After all, they have very full plates without adding more. Questions like: Where are you going?, When will you be back?, and more, do not require answers because they are not asked. I don't know about anyone else, but, as for me, i like the freedom from all that.

Another bright spot, now that you have reached older, is the physical privacy that you should enjoy. If you have played it right, you and your significant other, in my case, my Master, have control over the time and the space. When and where you do what you do is determined only by your desires. There are no arraignments that have to be made, no others to consider, no angst about lack of privacy. Moreover, there is little worry as to whether or not a favorite toy or whip could be inadvertently left out where others might see. Since call before you come has already been established by your kids a long time ago, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. I expect a call before anyone, including my kids, comes over.

Also, i find that i am much calmer about the ebb and flow of life. Things and people that i have no control over, i'm not going to spend too much time worrying about. Generally, people are going to do what they want to do. The only concern for you is whether or not their actions impact too much on your life. If so, then you have to explore your options. If not, there should be little that you should do or say, unless an opinion is asked for by those involved. Hopefully, with age comes a little wisdom.

Dates

Master has left to go on his "date". He says that it's not a date, but when you make plans to do something fun and enjoyable with someone of the oppose sex, it's a date. At first, i think he was a bit uncertain about telling me his plans for today, but from his point of view he had no other choice. For you see, my Master is honest, forthright, and trustworthy. Any form of dishonesty is abhorrent to him. In his mind, he had to inform me of his plans. Of course, at the same time he also told me that i have nothing to worry about, because he loves me above all others and i belong to him. And, to be honest, since this was the second time he had gone out with another important lady from his past, i wasn't too surprised when he gave me the news this time.

You see, i have found that Master has a need to keep in touch with certain ladies that he has loved and whom, on some level, he still loves. i understand and accept that about him. At the same time, i know that he loves me and wants to be with me. He has also shown me that he values our relationship, and doesn't intend to do anything that would jeopardize it. As he has said,"I can't see my life without you being a very important part of it." i have no doubts about his sincerity, none at all. He has said often enough that i belong to him, and it will always be so.

So far, my reactions to these dates, strangely enough, are somewhat surprising even to me. i am content and not at all fearful and distrustful of my Master's actions and desires. In other words, i am at peace with his needs and i hope he has a great "date".