Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Not Surprising

Interestingly, I find that there seems to be a direct correlation between the popularity of a blog and the sharing, or opening up, of other areas of the blogger's life. What I mean is that the more the blogger reveals about the interaction among those persons in his/her life, the more that blog is seen as interesting. The more personal information that is offered, the more favored the on-line journal. It seem obvious that these glimpses into the real lives of others is a bit like watching a soap opera or a serial movie. One can't wait to find out what happens next.

It needs to be said right now that there is no denying the courage, honesty and sincerity of those bloggers who choose to open their lives for viewing by others. And, we, the on lookers, should be, at the very least, respectful of the thoughts, fears and concerns of those writers. Yes, we all can relate to some of the stresses and anxieties expressed, or can we? Too often I find that there are those who troll the so called titillating blogs to judge, criticize and snipe.

It seems that the more detailed the life and loves of a journalist, the bigger the target for blame and denunciation by those anonymous souls who have a need to set others straight on what they should do and how they should live their lives. On the other hand, those bloggers who confine their entries to fucking and sucking, licking and hitting, slapping and wrapping, beating and bruising, are pretty much left alone. I mean what can be said? Where is the soft spot that can be examined and poked by those who delight in such things? Where is the pleasure in attacking those who offer such a very small target, who expose so little of themselves to public scrutiny?

To those brave bloggers who choose to disclose the very private, very personal, parts of their lives, I salute your honesty and your tenacity.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Need To Be Needed

I think that the desire to serve has always been an intrinsic part of me. When I was married, and being anything other than vanilla wasn't an option, I prided myself on being a helpmate, a partner, a loyal and dedicated spouse. Defining myself in those terms gave me immense pleasure. Not knowing then that I have what some have determined to be a "slave heart."

Since being with Master, I have found out that what I am has nothing to do with any other person. It has nothing to do with what He does or doesn't do with me. In other words, It's all about me. It's about my need to be available to serve in whatever capacity that is required by my significant other, whether husband or Master.

Unlike my husband, who was wired differently, Master knew. He always knew what I am. Although it was hard to admit to myself at first, I have come to acknowledge that I am a slave, yes, a voluntary slave, but a slave none the less. He knew I needed more than the periodic visits, the occasional scene, the fantasy of domination and submission. I must be of service to Master, providing whatever services please Him. In essence, I need slavehood as the focus of my life. Thankfully, He is willing to give me that. So far, I'm still learning and growing in my chosen path.

Once I asked Master what would happen to me if he were, for any reason, no longer available for me to serve. He didn't say that I probably would be alone, or that I would find another partner or get married again. He succinctly said, "You'd find another Master."

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

No Longer Mine

In due time, I began to realize that by giving myself to Master I had relinquished the unfettered control over my own body. It is no longer mine. It is his. It now belongs to him for his use and enjoyment. Now it is he, and he alone, who determines what goes on it and what goes in it. At any given time, he determines how it will be used, and whether it will have pleasure or pain. He is its' undisputed owner.

As for me, I'm regarded as its' caretaker with the primary responsibility of making it available at the owner's will, available for what ever service is required. I have no say so in when, where, or how his body is used. However, the day to day care and maintenance of his body is left up to me. Along with ensuring availability, Master requires that I keep his body in a state of readiness and good working order. The details of how this is done is left up to me. In short, he expects his body always available, wet, and ready for service.

That's how it is and how it will be.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

What Can I Say?

Often I wonder why I started this blog. Not being particularly fond of writing, and ,quite frankly, not having much to add about the dynamics of Master/slave interactions, I question my motivation for even thinking that I could offer anything to the general discussion about BDSM relationships. But, after giving it some thought, I remember who I am and why I wanted to start this blog. You see, I have noticed that most of the self described slaves and submissives that blog are much younger than myself and I wanted to "shout out" to those of us who are not so young, in fact most would say we are exceeding far from being young, and who are also new to the consenting submissive life.

Admittedly, I have had a long and lasting interest in all expressions of human sexuality, especially those involving domination, submission, pleasure and pain. From a very early age I fantasized about having all sorts of delicious experiences, but any moves towards actualizing my fantasies were successfully suppressed. The very practical side of me was determined not to let anything interfere with the life that I had carefully planned for myself. I wanted and got the home, the two children, and the long term marriage, including everything that such a marriage entails. During my marriage, I had worked towards and eventually had a career. I had no time to give into my secret yearnings. In my mind,I had made my life choices and that was that.

To be honest, I never dreamed that I would have a second chance, a second life if you will, to explore all manner of sexual expression, and to do and see various ways to get sexual release and satisfaction. In the last three years I have come a long way in experiencing what I only thought about for so many, many years, but I still have much yet to learn. I have a wonderful and caring Master who will hurt me, but not damage me, who will lead me, but not push me. I am indeed a fortunate slave and I have been around long enough to be grateful for this later opportunity to live life intensely, totally, and passionately. And yes,for a number of us over 60, passion is very much a necessary part of our lives.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Collared

After almost three years together, Saturday i was formally collared.
It satisfies Him. Therefore, it satisfies me. i love Him so.

slave freya

Monday, June 22, 2009

Makes You Go Hummmmm

"Socialite, 85, shocks New York with sex novel"
Paul Harris in New York The Observer, Sunday 12 April 2009

In a sign that you're never too old to try something new - or something racy - one of the grandes dames of New York society has penned an erotic novel at the age of 85.

Gloria Vanderbilt, whose family name is one of the most famed in Manhattan history, has written Obsession, the story of a woman who becomes entranced by her dead husband's affair with a dominatrix.

The sexually explicit book, which is to be published
in June, has already sent shock waves through the reserved upper echelons of New York society after passages were leaked to a New York tabloid. The leaks showed that Vanderbilt's prose spares no one's blushes in its explicit descriptions of kinky sex. Andrea Peyser, a columnist at the New York Post who got hold of the 143-page tome, breathlessly called it 'pure, elegant, unadulterated smut' - before reassuring readers that the book was light enough to be 'easily read with one hand'."


It seems that for many seniors one can never be too old or too sedate to need some acknowlegement of their continued interest in sex. Yes, with years of experience, "oldsters" still think about it, write about it, and even live with it as a driving force. Go girl.